The Day of Suck

That was today.  Major suckage.

We didn't make it to church today.  Same story.  Different day.  Struggling with this - - we'll get there.  I sat on the floor for a little while going through some scrapbook stuff.  My foot started to swell really bad.  No "criss-cross-applesauce" for me.

Lunch at my parents.  It was nice, but Noah was sick.  Now I'm scared to death that we're gonna get it.  I shouldn't live in fear like this.  Either we do or we don't.  It's just not a good week for me.  (Is it ever a good week to puke?) 

On top of all that - - my Moe is sick.  He's been lethargic all day.  My gut said something was really wrong.  I cried.  Mr. B said to take him to the Animal E.R.  I cried some more.  I took him.  Good thing.  His temperature was 105.2.  (Normal for cats is anywhere from 100 - 102.)  He apparently has an upper respiratory infection.  He got a steroid shot and is on antibiotics.  I was relieved.  We should see a significant improvement in 48 hours.  If not, we go back to our regular vet.  This fur-baby mommy was *stressed* out. 

Here's the thing.  I know me.  Stress = migraines.  All. the. time.  So - - I am praying like crazy for the Lord to just calm me down.  Just relax.  Right?  Why can't I do it?  I strongly fear those things that are out of my control.  I think that's why throwing up and wicked bad thunderstorms freak me out so much.  I have no control over them.  I don't like being out of control.  At all.  I'm a planner.  When things aren't on my calendar - - it throws me off.  Big time.

My goal:  chillax.  I'm going to just let go.  I am not calling the shots here.  God is.  He is in control of my life.  What happens, happens.  I really wish we had a porch swing.  I'd curl up in a blanket and head outside right now.  It's raining.  Gently raining.  I'd love to sit and just listen to the rain.

*snap*

Back to real life.

*sigh*