I figured an update was necessary. Because we're all in this together. It truly takes a village to raise kids. And because the "in my day" excuse just doesn't cut it. Like it or not, our kids have access to all kinds of information at their fingertips.
In an attempt to find a delicate balance, I followed a friend's suggestion and installed the app "Our Pact" on the kids' iPads. It took some doing, but I finally figured everything out. However, their Android phones weren't successful. I felt like an idiot and finally contacted technical support. It turns out their specific phones didn't support the app. Crap. I didn't want to maintain two different apps to control their devices. Back to the drawing board. But for the record, if you're a strictly Apple family, I'd highly recommend Our Pact.
I found another app called "Screen Time." It's actually easier to use. I had no trouble installing it on both platforms. There are two drawbacks for me. First, I can't assign lump sum screen time to share between devices. I have to assign per device time. I contacted the company and they assured me that this was already in consideration for future releases. Cool. It's manageable and not a deal breaker. Second, I can't block apps on Apple products. Tech support had some great suggestions though. The route I chose to go to work around this issue was changing iTunes passwords. Nothing goes on there that we don't approve. The kids have to hand us their iPads and we enter the password if they want to install anything.
This app has several features I really like. One is a scheduler. I do A.M. and P.M. school schedules allowing for access to everything during lunch. During school, they have access to the phone, texting (it's a way to get a hold of me if they need something), their calendar, clock, Bible app, and contacts. Everything else is blocked. The oldest needed access to Google for a class project today in history. He texted me and asked if I could unblock it for the duration of the class. So I did. He messaged back when he was done and I turned Google back off. Just like that. I should probably ask him what he learned about George Washington, just to see. I also schedule bedtime and lights out.
Another feature it has, that I like, is the ability to add tasks that give them reward time. They can click that they completed a task and submit it for my review. They even have the ability to attach a picture if needed. For example, a clean room. And because they are gross middle school boys, teeth brushing is included as a task. And it's working! Another task I have on there is an act of kindness. I'm relying on the honor system here. They tell me what they did and I usually approve it.
My favorite feature? The pause button. Yep, I've used it already. you don't need to finish your race and then come to dinner. If I've called you to dinner, you better shut her down and get to dinner. I hit the pause button and you are paused. It's glorious!
It's teaching some responsibility and I don't have to hover. I really like that.
Another thing I do is spontaneous messaging/texting reviews. One of the boys is in a group chat that never stops. It's a constant barrage of goofy videos, pictures of pets and other middle school boy silliness. And attempts to be cool. One kid took it too far. I saw it. I had my son reply that his mom saw it and a line was crossed with language. The kid was in a full blown panic and was convinced that I was going to tell his mom. Hahahaha. I don't even know his mom. But I love it that I was able to strike the fear in him. Keep it clean, kids. Mama is watching!
I know some people might think this is a total invasion of privacy. I couldn't disagree more. These kids belong to Mr. B and me. God tasked us with raising them. We are raising them in an era where they are exposed to so much. We have to do our part. And we pray we are approaching this the right way.
It's just the tip of the iceberg. But it really seems like a step in the right direction.
