When I grow up...

...I want to be a police woman and write tickets. No - - I didn't get a ticket. (Knocking on wood.) I just sat at the five way and watched two people in a row turn right on red. (If you live here, you know which intersection I'm talking about.) The sign clearly says No Right Turn On Red. I'm serious. I would write tickets all day and then giggle my butt off. I think crying women would make my day, too. I'd just look at them, let them put on as good a production as they could, and then tell them to sign by the "x." Then I'd go back to my patrol car and laugh my butt off. No quotas here. My Sargent, or whatever, would be telling me to back off. I think the only person I'd cut some slack would be my Mom. And that's 'cause she "birthed" me. That's got to entitle her to something. (Unless it was for a seat belt. Then, Mom, I'd ticket you for that in a heartbeat. So put your freakin' seat belt on.)

I wonder if I could ever do a "ride along" with a local cop and help run radar sometime. Maybe help watch for moving violations. What a trip. At least until you get shot at. That wouldn't be a lot of fun. Never mind.

I did get to do a ride along with a San Antonio cop once. That was fun. I got to run radar on I-10. What a rush. Then I spied a wreck and told the cop I was riding with about it. He said he was hoping I didn't see it. Now he had to go work it. (Is this what they really do? Play like they don't see stuff and then hope they don't get called to it? Yikes.) Anyhoo, I had to wait in the car the whole time because he hadn't got permission to do the ride. He said if anyone came snooping around that I might have to get out and take a cab home. Oopsie! It all worked out fine and he took me back to the house right after that. A week later, he wrapped that same patrol car around a telephone pole in a high speed chase. He was okay. But the seat where I'd been sitting - - not so good. Yeah, it would have killed me.

I still wish I could have written a few tickets this afternoon. You know, just for some giggles. That's a portion of my dark side.