In no particular order...
1. Stolen restaurant leftovers - you know, you stop gorging yourself at the restaurant and think, huh - I can enjoy this again tomorrow night. So you carefully package your leftovers and lug them around with you the rest of the evening. They stink up your car. They finally make it to your fridge. The next day, the munchies hit. Yummy, leftover popcorn shrimp. Perfect. WRONG! Husband ate them already. Blimey.
2. Farting. Any kind. I will sub-divide to let you know the different ones that really fail to impress me.
- Anything in my kitchen - this is just wrong. Thou shalt not fart in my kitchen. And at my table? I will go postal on you.
- In my bed - okay husband, this one is obviously directed to you. No fluffing the covers. This is NOT funny. I have before, and will again, send you packing to the couch.
- In my car - do you really want to walk? Nothing will get your butt kicked to the curb any quicker.
- I just can't stress enough how un-funny this whole thing is. I am so busted, too, because I live in a house full of boys.
3. Cameron dumping his plate on the floor. If this happened occasionally, it wouldn't make my list. But the little booger does it every day. And I'm usually moments from catching him. Not funny. Not impressed.
4. McAllister's charging $5 for a gallon of tea. And the fact that I am willing to pay such an outrageous price for it. Is there cocaine in that stuff or what? (I still owe you $10 Renee.)
5. Speaking of good tea - I hate not being able to leave a glass of something sitting out long enough to go to the bathroom. I'm not ninety or anything. I can zip in and out of the bathroom. But that's all the time that either of the kids need to pull my freshly poured drink over and spill it all over our lightly colored carpet. (By the way - kudos to the Hoover Steam Vac.)
6. Being late. So why, why, why do I not get up earlier and budget my time better?
7. Conversation one-uppers. You know the type. I'm sure I do it. I know I have. But I hate it when others do it all the time. These people have always done something a little better or had it a little worse than you. Sound familiar? Their kid has had more stitches than yours, they went to Paris while you went to Six Flags, their car is a V8, etc, etc.
8. The Screen Actor Guild Awards - Actors patting each other on the back and televising it for the nation to watch. Blech. To add insult to injury, my shows are on re-runs tonight, I'm sure because they don't want to compete with themselves receiving accolades. More blech.
9. Mark Cuban - The man is one giant a-hole. I can't stand him. He might be good for the Mavericks organization and I'm sure he's done his fair share as far as philanthropy goes, but I think he's an ass. He's arrogant and disrespectful. Anyone that would align with Rosie is questionable in my book.
10. Cindy Sheehan. I don't feel the need to elaborate. The woman is crazy.
I think this is enough for now. I might add more another time. This has been enough to make my brain bleed.
I'm hungry. I think I'll go grab some supper. I'll tell you what I won't be eating. I won't be eating any freaking popcorn shrimp. Thanks, David.
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