Parenting. Okay. Of course there was a method to the madness. I appreciate everyone's remarks. Here are my thoughts.
Under ideal circumstances, a child should have a father and a mother. I am not naive enough to believe that every situation is ideal. I am a realist.
I understand that biology does not make one a parent. (I am thankful for this one.)
I also realize that divorce is a reality. And so is re-marriage.
The question is - - where does parenting fit in to all of this? I've known of situations where moms and dads who split up do the best they can for their children. And unfortunately, I know of situations where the complete and total, polar opposite exists. Children are used as weapons. They are put on the back burner at a time when they need to be a priority. Dating commences and eventually re-marriage. Not always. But sometimes. Blended families.
I could go on and on.
I know this - - I would go to the mats for both of my children. And so would Mr. B. We both serve different roles in their lives. We love them equally. I am not vain enough to believe that I am more important than him. I provide different things than he does. That just goes with me being a woman and him being a man. My nurturing instincts are different than his.
I guess where I am going is this - - I will always be a mother to my children. And Mr. B. will always be a father. Period. I would never have it any other way.
With God's guidance - - we will do this together. I am thankful to have him. And Him.
I'm just sad for the children who are the collateral damage of two grown ups who just don't know how to be parents. Really, two grown ups who aren't grown ups at all. It's just - - sad.
5 comments:
WOW! I couldn't have said it any better! I have 2 brothers who have divorced from their wifes and their are children involved.
1 brother I have NO patience for. He has been on/off drugs. Can't hold down a job. Has a huge chip on his shoulder, and blames everyone around him for his mistakes. Yet, he is not willing to do what is necessary to fix the problem. Therefore, the exwife has no desire to let him see his daughter.
My other brother...I seriously think he has issues with being alone. He has all ready jumped into another relationship and they are living together! Regardless...there are 2 children involved. Neither my brother or the exwife are interested in working together. They both seem to play the kids!
Now, neither of the situations are right! Children are God's special gift! Children are the innocent bodies. But, why is that grown adults think it's okay to hurt the children? At what point does it quit becoming about you and it becomes a priority about the kids???
I guess the crazy part is that they either don't know or don't care that they are hurting the kids.
They just act so selfish.
YEP! Nobody cares! The kids are stuck in the middle! Sound familiar?
I am going to add an addendum to my comments from before...
I think *which* parent is far less important than *a* parent, preferrably two. Moms and dads both bring something different to the table. This has been proven time and again.
But a lot of times, kids with crappy parents turn out okay. My thoery is that is because *someone* loved them and showed them a better way... and then they chose (for whatever reason) to walk that better path.
There is something to be said for raising them well... but that's not the entire recipe. Otherwise you wouldn't see totally squared away adults and crappy ones result from the same home time and again.
We all come from many different walks in life. Many different experiences.
I think you all know who/what I'm referencing here. No big surprise really. I just pray that those of us willing to provide the "collateral damage" a little support, will be able to do everything we can.
I am perpetually blown away by people.
This situation - - I trusted. I did what I felt like the Lord wanted me to do. And I feel conned. It's okay though.
He will be a better adult because of this. I am certain. Will he be without his issues? No. I thank God that there is other family willing to step up and do the right thing by him.
Kids rely on us to protect them. To nurture them. To provide for them. To love them unconditionally.
We can't give up on them because they don't suit our purposes.
We just - - love them. And I love him. I want the best for him. I want him to thrive - - despite the odds. God is bigger than the odds. My comfort is in that.
Post a Comment