As the J Man would say...

...only two more sleeps until we go to the mountains!! I don't know who is more excited. Him - - for getting to go to Mamaw and Papaw's house in the mountains or Daddy - - for getting a week to himself.

Yoda loaned me a book to read. I have every intention of reading it while I'm gone. They have internet there. However, I'd seriously like to limit my internet usage. I'm finding the need to taper off in general. I don't read anymore. At all. I don't look at my scrapbook magazines anymore. The internet is cool, but it has sucked the life out of me. So - - this will be a spring break from the web. Don't get me wrong, I'll check in. I'll even post to tell you about my trip. I just probably won't compulsively check other blogs and websites like I've been known to do. In summary - - I'm going to have a life. (By the way - - the book is The Kite Runner.)

Something else I'll be up to this week - - prayer. Prayer about my attitude. Sometimes the course of events with the recent drama in my life still blow me away. I try really hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Truth be told, the puzzle doesn't need to be put together. It doesn't matter. At all. I think because in my heart - - I know my heart. I know my true intentions. But better yet - - God knows my heart. My real friends know my true intentions. Like I've said all along - - love me for who I really am or don't love me at all.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm not a compassionate person. I think can be very compassionate. And empathetic. However, I can't constantly reassure the insecure. It's not my nature. I think this is why God didn't give me little girls. I'm not a hand-holder. I'm not a "it will all be okay" kind of girl. I'm more of a "put your big girl panties on and get over it" kind of girl. Will this little paragraph get me in trouble? More than likely. Not trying to be ugly. I can't apologize for who I am. I won't apologize for who I am. I am who I am. (Did I just sound like Popeye?)

So why do I need to pray about my attitude? Just trust me. I do. I don't want bitterness to get a foothold in my life. I already feel it. I'm discovering that I'm distancing myself from the one place I love - - church. It's not any one individual. It's a combination of things that have happened that have made me want to retreat to my safe place. The four walls of my home. Here, I'm not hurt. At least not for long. I know it's not right. And it's right where Satan wants me. I know all of this. All too well. So this week - - I let the Holy Spirit work on my attitude.

To my different groups of friends I got to spend time with this weekend: thank you. You each have no idea how refreshing it was to my soul. No idea. I left both nights feeling loved by my friends. I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything. And my parents??? Wow. The older I get, the more I discover a friendship like no other in both my father and my mother. Wow - - what allies. They have been very loyal friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay - - this cheesy love fest should come to an end before my newest "no-vomit" streak is broken. *gag* (and *snicker*)

peace