Pet Peeves

I have three, yes three, pet peeves that just get under my skin.

1. People who litter. This includes, but is not limited to, people who throw their cigarette butts on the ground. Especially lit ones. We live in hot, dry West Texas and it would not take anything to start a fire. But that's almost beside the point. How is it that these people don't view this as littering? Hello????? A couple of months ago, I saw someone walk out of a pharmacy, look at their receipt and then just throw it on the ground. I nearly lost it. Especially since there was a trash can *right there.* Idiots. I have, however, discovered how to get revenge on said idiots. Did you know that you can report a litterer? You can! Just go to:

www.dontmesswithtexas.org

You will need the date, time, location, make of car, license plate number, what was littered, who littered and then you can post comments. The offender has to have Texas plates. (The geeks who are from out of state get away with it.) The offender will receive a letter stating that they were caught littering and will also be given a Don't Mess With Texas trashbag for their car. I love it. And believe me, I've used it. I've reported *several* offenders. I now keep a notepad and pen handy for just such occasions. I think I feel like it empowers me a little. A chance to fight back! So don't mess with Texas or I'll turn your butt in, too. Pun intended.

2. Cigarette smoke in public places. I don't mean to offend, but I hate it. I hate it that most designated smoking places are at the entrace to that very business or institution. I don't care if you want to defile your own body, but don't drag me or my hyper-sensitive nasal passages with you. It's disgusting and bad for you. And Heaven forbid, I'm sitting in my car at a stop light or at a drive-in somewhere. You're gonna get the "look" from me. If you know me, you know the "look." Chances are, you have received it before for some reason or the other. And if you are my brother, you've been embarassed by being seen with me when I administer the "look." It will likely get my butt kicked someday. Avoid the "look." Quit smoking in public places.

3. Gum smacking. This one sends me into what I can only describe as "body jolting seizures." I can't stand it. Especially those people gifted enough to do that wierd little "pop" thing with their gum where you never even see a bubble. They just keep doing it, over and over. It's inside their mouth and all you hear is this redundant clicking. It drives me *insane.* It was the worst in college when I was trying to take a test. Maybe I have ADD or something, but I could never concentrate when someone was popping or smacking their gum. I would have to wait until the dipwad finished their test before I could start mine. Then hopefully I had enough time to take my test. It didn't matter if I moved across the room or not. Once it existed, I knew it was there and was *so* sensitive to it. This one will get you the "look" everytime. Even if you are family. I don't care. Quit smacking and popping your freaking gum. I have popped DH on the back of the head before and told him to spit his gum out or we were about to have a major problem. He usually agitates me for about a minute more and then quits. I probably look like my head is going to blow off of my shoulders (like in the cartoons) and then just explode. So, dear friends, don't be offended if I wrestle you to the ground and pry gum out of your mouth someday. It's just because I like you and don't wish death upon you. ;-)