Skunk

Why is it that all of a sudden my laundry hamper has this horrific odor? It smells like a skunk crawled in there, sprayed his "stuff" and then died in there. Why am I so sensitive to these odors now?

I *really* need my washing machine back.

The call...

**phone rings**

Him: ABC Appliance Company

Me: Hi, I'm calling to check on the status of our washing machine.

Him: Okay.

Me: The name is Gain. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent. I selected Gain in memory of good smells.)

Him: Let me check on that for you.

(Hold time.)

Him: I see that part was ordered. It looks like it shipped on Monday. Huh. It should have been here Wednesday. I'm going to have to call that supplier and follow up with that.

Me: (You think?) Okay. Can we just get that part overnighted to us and get this thing fixed? I'm looking at a third weekend at the laundromat. I am a mother of toddlers. This is quite difficult. I need my washer back.

Him: Well, due to the Maytag conversion to Whirlpool, parts are harder to get.

Me: (Thinking, well, if the part was ordered...we didn't have too much trouble finding them before did we? How about we order them again? And we utilize modern technology and have them overnighted to us? You can have that option. It's called Saturday morning delivery.)

Him: I can call them and let you know what I find out.

Me: Yes, that would be great. Because I was thinking we'd get our washer back today.

Him: Oh, you won't get it back today.

Me: (Well, duh.)

Him: We're looking at Monday at the earliest. I'll get on the phone with them and see what I can find out. Can I get your number again? I'm not back in the shop and don't have access to your file right here.

Me: (Trying to imagine their filing system.) Sure, it's ***-****. I appreciate it. Good-bye.

Him: Good-bye.

Yeah. I'll bet it's at least another week. Any other bets? My head is about to blow up off up my shoulders. We have VBS next week. Me and the boys have to wear the same shirts every day for five days. I was kind of counting on that washer being back here before then. I am not happy.

Me grumbling to myself

I will never complain about doing laundry at home again. Never. I have learned my lesson. I will change my ways. No more taking my washer for granted. I will begin a load-a-day regimen. From now on, fresh towels for everyone. Use it once, then I will wash it and provide my family with a fresh one. I know, I know. The environment. But oh, how I wanted to barf in the the "clean" towel that just came back from the laundromat. It smelled. I don't think their washers even work. These towels don't even smell clean. This sucks. Oh the humanity.

Good Cop/Bad Cop

Guess which one I am? You won't have to think long and hard on that one. I get to be bad cop on this one. Husband has been good cop. Too good. He may even call in and warn these "kind folks" over at the appliance place that bad cop (aka, me, that the wife that is madder than hell that her washer *still* isn't ready yet, will be calling later.) I hope they have a dang good answer. I mean, like all of the President's washers at the flippin' White House all went out at the same time or something like that. Otherwise...

GET ME MY FREAKIN' WASHING MACHINE BACK TO MY HOUSE MUY PRONTO. YOU DON'T WANT MY PHONE CALL IN THE MORNING. TRUST ME. IF I HAVE TO ENDURE ANOTHER WEEKEND AT THE LAUNDROMAT, SOME HEADS ARE GOING TO ROLL. GET ME MY WASHER - - PRONTO. IT SEEMS REAL UNIMPORTANT TO YOU, MR. GREASE MONKEY WHO ANSWERS THE PHONE. JUST HAVE YOUR "SUPPLIERS" OVERNIGHT THAT PART AND YOU GET YOUR "STAFF" TO SPEND THEIR WEEKEND FIXING MY WASHER. I WANT IT IN MY HOUSE, WORKING AND WASHING CLOTHES, NO LATER THAN CLOSE OF BUSINESS ON MONDAY. THAT'S YOUR DEADLINE. AFTER THAT DATE, I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS.

Look at this picture. What is missing? Oh, that's right. My washing machine. And my poor, poor Gain. Sitting there, all alone on the Dryer. Not knowing what to do. So lost. Wanting to bring happiness back to this family. Longing for what once was a happier time. Idly waiting. Sometimes, I walk by, unscrew the lid and just take a deep breath. Someday my dear friend. Someday. We'll all be back together again. Oh - - those were good times. Such nostalgia.

For Angie...

Our pool guy - shirtless!

I was inside the house, cooking supper and just happened to glance outside. I noticed that our pool guy was out there. He was cleaning the pool out. And he didn't have his shirt on. Cover your daughter's eyes ladies. He's all this *and* he can play a mean game of Lego Star Wars.

Let it be known that...

If I *ever* catch *anyone* doing this to *any* vehicle that I own or to that of someone that is parked at my residence - - said individual will die. Toilet papering a house - that's cute. But feminine hygeine products? I am not even kidding when I tell you that I would lose my mind. And if you think it's cute, and it's on your car - - don't park it in front of my house. This is beyond offensive. I would catch the offender, take one of the "products" off the car and superglue it to their forehead.

This car is parked near where we check our mail. If it was on my street and nearer to my house, I can assure you, I would have called the cops already. Petty of me? Probably. This kid's parents should be strung up for not making him/her clean them off yet. And what you can't see is that there are lips, like kisses, in the middle of each one. They are alternating blue and orange. Does this display school spirit? Uh, okay. GROSS!! Do any of you think this is funny? Am I too over the top on this one? I don't think this is living out loud. This is living dumb.

By the way, the trash men finally got off their duff and picked our garbage up today. How nice of them. They waited until after 1:00. They normally pick up before 8:00 a.m. I was on the verge of looking up one of the executives addresses and taking it over to his house. (I've called the HQ's offices four times since Friday.) Ugh.

Thank goodness my issue of Simple Scrapbooks finally came. It might actually be a good day today. Okay, things to do.

Peace.

Blog This - June 4th

Here's your topic: Quirky little known fact about you.

Here's mine:

You know I totally dig soundtracks. But here's the kicker. I pride myself in the fact that I can listen to a song from a soundtrack and tell you exactly what scene (or even movie line) it belongs with in the movie. I can even do it with movie scores. I'm nuts with it. For the longest time, I was completely obsessed with Backdraft. Then I quit listening to it. I rediscovered it the other day. It's one I listen to a lot. I think because I can totally envision the movie. And I rock at the envisioning thing. I've got this one down. I really like to challenge myself with the scores. I'll list a few of my faves for you. I won't insult you with the easy stuff. You know, like Grease or Sound of Music. Stuff with words. Who can't figure those out? Well, except maybe Husband? So here are some instrumental faves of mine. And I have them all. And more.

• Indecent Proposal
• North and South
• Lonesome Dove
• Pearl Harbor
• The Passion of the Christ
• The Notebook
• Backdraft

Hey Pat & Audra...

When do Detroit and San Antonio play next? Oh - not until the 2007-08 season? That's a shame.

Go Spurs Go.

Tales from the laundromat...

Okay, I said I'd do it and here it is. My tales from the laundromat. It took me back to my days as a single woman. Only I never went to a real laundromat. They always had adequate facilities at whichever apartment I was living at. (Or I would finagle dinner at the 'rents and do a load or two over there. That was free. Plus food.)

So - - the Maytag is still broken. The bonehead at the repair place just ordered the part for it on Thursday. It will likely be Friday before we get it back. Now back when I was single, this might not have been as big of a deal. But now - - heck yes. We really go through clothes, sheets and towels around here. And you will notice later - socks. One week ago today, I loaded the car up with five baskets of laundry, my mp3 player and $20 in quarters. (I also armed myself with a mango sweet tea from Sonic.) To say that the day was a riot is quite an understatement. But huge kudos to Michael Buble. Your sweet voice carried me through this day!

First, let me say that my husband wanted to go and do this. To "protect" me. So he says. Laundromats are "seedy" establishments. No, he finally admits that he wanted to go "just in case" there really are hot chicks that take their shirts off and launder them while they are waiting. I can assure him, this is only in the movies. He found out today (this was his turn) that I might just be right. The chick he saw - in his words - he preferred for her to have left her shirt on. And she did. For which he was grateful.

Back to my Sunday. Let's talk about College Boy. He blew my mind. Without the slightest bit of embarrassment (or discretion) at all, he held up a pair of his drawers and took to spraying the "back end" portion of them with the stain fighting stuff. I'm thinking, did he really just do that? He was not at all embarrassed by the fact that either a.) he hadn't wiped well before or b.) he may have completely pooed his pants. Should it bother me that it didn't phase him at all that I was standing right there? You know, that he didn't feel the need to "impress" me? He must have thought that Soccer Mom wasn't hot enough to impress. Anyway, I'm thinking - dude, throw the drawers away. Get you some new ones. If you've got to use the spray 'n wash in them, you've got bigger problems than just getting the stain out. Get you some new drawers. Know what I'm saying?

So here are my detergents all lined up. Don't laugh. They really do make me happy. And I actually had someone ask me they other night what I was wearing. They said I smelled good. It's Gain, I tell you. I swear by the stuff. I get compliments ALL the time when I use the "full regime" of products. Original Scent, of course.

This is where things went somewhat a foul. Small storm. Pea size hail. I freaked a little, but not like you'd think. I moved my car next door to some covered parking but I got soaking wet coming back to finish my laundry. That's when I had my brilliant idea. I could be this college guy's hot chick. I could be his story to tell his buddies for years to come. So, he'd have to embellish the "hotness" of it but they'd never know, right? I could take my sopping wet t-shirt off and throw it in the dryer with the others. But alas, I was too chicken. Dang it. It would have been hilarious.

See this sign? Drop off service? Huh? I wonder how much this would have cost me? That might have been nice. Until your clothes turn up missing. Or - - even worse, you end of with college boys boxers with stains mixed in with my fresh laundry. Gross.

The fruits of my labor. Much folding. 8 stinkin' loads worth! Yes, I said eight. Their washers are *much* smaller than mine. So what would have been five at my house was eight there. Oye! And those dryers were the pits. Worthless. I think they just liked eating quarters.

Do you notice this? These are all Husband's socks. A disproportionate number of them. I quit matching his socks about four years ago. There are just too many. So he does it now.

And, the story of my life. Have you seen our home? The dryer ate our partner.

Husband had it easy today. He only had four loads.

I mean it, somebody better warn the appliance man. I need my washer back. This is nothing short of cruel and unusual punishment for us. And when they get off of the phone with him, they can call the people that pick up our trash and find out what happened on Friday. They were supposed to pick up and they didn't. So I called and they said they just had another call and they were "re-sending" the truck to take care of it. Yeah, I think that truck went to happy hour instead because my trash is still in the alley and now it has a ton of rain in it, too. The trash has been out there all weekend. Gross.

Okay, I should seriously go to bed. Too much drama today with the storms and such. Those darn sirens make me drop a few iq points each time they're sounded. Rest would be nice.

Later everyone. May you be blessed with clean laundry.

The best quiz of all!

Apparently I am...



"This is some rescue. When you came in here, did you have a plan for getting out?" Technically you're a princess, but there's nothing dainty about you. When your royal blood runs hot, you speak your mind and tell it like it is. Only a true leader would have the courage to stand up to an enemy as ruthless as Darth Vader, and like Leia, your strength lies between your ears (although you're never afraid to go head-to-head with the boys).

You are the type of person who fights for their causes. You are a defender of the downtrodden and an inspiration to all those who have been oppressed. You may come off as a little headstrong and cocky, but how else could you pull off the "ear-muff" hairdo?