Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And the suckiest blog of the year award goes to.....................

me.

Sorry.  I'll work on it.  Just not feeling the love lately.  I'll be back though.  When something interesting happens.

Baseball and Golden Corral

Intrigued?  You should be.

Justin is playing baseball again this year.  It's his fourth year to play and his second year of machine pitch.  He struggled a lot at the beginning of the season with batting.  He couldn't connect.  Mr. B wouldn't settle for this.  He made it his singular mission to help.  They began their own batting practice.  They worked on everything.  Stance, timing, grip.  Lots of work.  And it's already started to pay off.  He's started connecting with the ball during the games.

But what happened Thursday night absolutely rocked.  We keep telling him that he has the power to hit the ball to the fence.  He's just got to apply everything he's been taught and just focus.

So Thursday, on our way out to his game, he asked us what we'd do if he hit it to the fence.  Hmmmmmm. So I blurted out, "We'll take you to Golden Corral to eat."  (He's been BEGGING to go there.  I know, sad, right?  What can I say?  The commercials with the chocolate fountain spoke to him.  And, well, he's a bottomless pit.)  He was on that bet like stink on a monkey.

He's way down in the line up.  (Don't get me started.  He's always way down there.  I guess he didn't wow anyone at the beginning of the season.  They'll be sorry.  No season tickets for them when he hits the big time.  I'm just sayin'.)  He did get to bat in that first inning though.  So I was pleased.  I actually had my head down at the time because I was teaching another mom how to do the books.  I heard the popping sound that the bat makes when it connects with the ball and I looked up.

It was J.  And he smacked the stuff out of that ball.  First freakin' pitch.  And guess where it went?  TO THE FENCE!  That's right.  He's not a super fast runner.  The coach stopped him on third base.  I thought Mr. B and I were going to lose our minds from screaming.

It. Was. Awesome.

So - - guess who's going to Golden Corral?  Not exactly my first choice.  But the little man did us proud.

I loved it so much, I told my Bunco group to find a sub for me for tomorrow night.  I'm not missing his next game.  He may not do it again this season.  But he might.  And if/when he does - - I want him to look up in the stands and know that his mama loves him and is proud of him.

Way to go, Justin.  You are AMAZING!!!

An *almost* brush with the law.

Have you ever decided to change a stop sign to a yield sign?  I have.  I haven't physically removed any traffic signs.  Ever.  But in the spirit of, "this really shouldn't be a stop sign, yielding is sufficient," I have.

It nearly bit me in the butt yesterday.  Nothing makes you nearly crap yourself quite like knowing you "broke the law," seeing the squad car shortly after said moving violation and then seeing that squad car do a u-ey right after you pass him.

He's probably still laughing at me peering at him through my rearview mirror.

What drives me to take chances like that?  Just the thought of sitting through Defensive Driving again makes me want to go club baby seals.

Thank goodness he never flipped those lights on.  I was sure I was screwed.

I'll stop next time.  I promise.  (Especially now that I know they monitor that area.)

Whew.

1/3 Asleep

Mr. B, the never-ending sleep-talker struck again.

I freakin' love it when he does this.

This time, I was wide awake when he started his conversation.  So I remember it clearly.  He propped himself up on his arm and pointed at Gus, who was asleep on our bed.  (Gus is THE best snuggler ever.  Seriously.)  Knowing that Mr. B was asleep, and recognizing an opportunity to strike up a conversation he wouldn't remember, I readied myself for "conversation."

Mr. B:  Huh.  That sure is funny.

Me:  What's that?

Mr. B:  Him.  (points at Gus)

Me:  What's so funny about him?

Mr. B:  See?  He's like 1/3rd asleep.

Me:  One third?

Mr. B:  Yeah.  You know you *can* only be 1/3rd asleep.  (looks at me like *I'm* the idiot)

Me:  I wasn't aware of that.  I know about the 1/2 asleep thingy.  But 1/3rd, not-so-much.

Mr. B:  Yeah.  1/3.  Heh.  (back to sleep like the dead)

Seriously funny.  I never know what he's gonna say.  But more often than not, it's 8/9ths funny.

Farts

Cam:  Hey Mommy, do you remember that time you farted?

Me:  What?  No way.  Mommy never farts.  (*snicker*)

Cam:  Yes, remember?  You hadn't pooped in a long time and you made the bathroom really stinky?

Me:  Oh, yeah.

Boys.  It's all about the memorable farts. 

Did you hear that?

It wasn't sweat.  It was my fat crying.

Boo-freakin-hoo.  

Take that fat.  Take that.

Very Bad Word

Justin came barreling in the house telling me that Cameron just said a "very bad word."  Me, assuming we were about to have a lesson regarding the f-bomb or something of the sort, quickly learned that the offensive word was "sexy."  He was dancing and singing "I'm sexy and I know it."

Oh yeesh.  That kid.

I summoned him indoors.  Scolded him.  He went back outside.  I laughed.

He is his mother's son.

Note to Self

Dear Self,

Do not attempt to stand outside and watch the mister and the oldest play catch.  The oldest throws a wild one every now and then.  While not straight, they pack a punch.

That's gonna leave a mark.

Stay indoors.  Enjoy the air-conditioning.  Pour yourself a cool beverage.

DO NOT stand in his "strike" zone.

Cautiously,
B  (Which now stands for bruise.)

Spam

And I'm not talking about the pre-cooked meat product with the clear gel.

I'm talking about those butt munches who fill my inbox with crap.  It sucks because you can't sign up for anything anymore without providing your e-mail address.  Then you get on some crap hole list and before you know it, you get more spam than regular e-mail.

Unsubscribe?

Yeah, right.  Like that works.  I've also told telemarketers not to call me anymore.  They still call.  I usually put the phone on speaker and hand it over to the kids and tell them to have fun.

Spam.  It sucks.

Whaddup Moonpie?

Just life, here.

Spring has sprung.  That means, that it's not really spring, but more like summer.  So our a/c is running.  The kids have already been in my parents' pool.

Pollen is everywhere and HATES Mr. B.  He is miserable. This season dang near kills him every year.  It's awful.

My body takes a while to adjust to the heat.  I seem to have headaches with more frequency.  Bah.  Hate those.  If you've ever been to my house and wonder why it's so dark and no natural light - - that's why.  I prefer for the entire house to be dark and cool.  It helps keep the headaches in check.  For the most part.  I usually open one of the blinds over the kitchen sink.  That's where my hummingbird feeder is.  I filled it up on Friday and I'm waiting for my first customer.

Baseball has begun for Justin.  Cameron opted out this season.  He prefers to sit with me on the sidelines and eat a snowcone.  Can't fault him for that.  Justin played catcher the other night.  He wasn't "squatting" quite right and the bail nailed him just above the shin guard, above his knee.  You can clearly see where it hit him.  It left quite a mark.  He shook it off and kept playing.  He's my tough dude.  He nearly caught his first foul ball, too.  That would have been awesome.  He's much better about flipping that mask off and looking for the action though.  I LOVE watching him in that position.

I haven't scrapbooked or done anything crafty in FOREVER!  My plan is to hit that this afternoon or late this morning.  First up is finishing this wonderful cup of coffee.  Then I have laundry that's folded that needs to be put away, beds to make and then kitchen duty.  After that - - treadmill time.  I am MAKING myself do the treadmill everyday this week.  No exceptions.  I might tweak my playlist first.  I need good stuff to keep me motivated.  I vary the speed during the walk so as not to get bored.  (And to incorporate some running.)  My playlist right now pretty much sucks.  I think I'll fix that now while I finish this coffee.

Sorry my blogging has been so hit and miss.  Meh.  What's a girl to do?

It's go time.  This stuff won't get done if I'm busy goofing around here.

Ciao.

Cooking Skills

Cooking skills - - I has them.

Tell me this isn't the most yummy looking grilled cheese ever.

Cameron said it was de-lish.

Cameron's mommy is a rock star.  Even if it is just a sandwich.