This whole "Me Too" thing...

I am so irritated.

Brace yourselves, friends. I'm about to go there. The place I vowed to stay away from. Political/Social hot button topics. And this one oozes hypocrisy.

I'm sure many of you have heard of the "Me, Too" campaign. If you're on social media at all, you are likely seeing so much of it. Traditionally, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. A quick Google search will give you all kinds of information. But the actions of a few high profile celebrities have brought the issue to the forefront.

Let me start with this - - I take sexual assault VERY seriously. And I honestly feel like I have credibility when it comes to the topic. For a couple of years, I worked with the local rape crisis center as a "crisis intervention specialist." That's a fancy title for someone who works with victims of sexual assault, incest, abuse, etc. While I hold a bachelor's degree in psychology, I'm not a psychologist or a licensed counselor.

My job was to help victims navigate the process. Many times, that process (for staff and volunteers) included meeting victims at the emergency room. We had an agreement with the hospital. When a victim came in, we were contacted. If it was during business hours, whoever was available would go over to the hospital to greet the victim. After hours, we worked on-call. I went on several calls. And a few still linger in my head.

At the hospital there were at least two, possibly three, Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners. I won't go into the details. It's a lot. And those nurses are freaking amazing. They are trained to collect evidence.

We would explain the process to the victim and whoever accompanied them to the E.R. We would discuss evidence collection, how the process worked with law enforcement, expectation with the legal system, what to expect in the days to come, etc. And we would offer our services to them free of charge. It was an amazing program.

I'm not entirely sure how the program works today. I know the agency is still in town, but they've expanded their umbrella of services to include those who identify as LGBTQ and the issues they struggle with. I don't understand linking the two. Especially since we were taught, for so long, that sexual identity has nothing to do with sexual assault. For that matter, neither does sex. Sexual assault is about power and control. (And let me be clear, I have NO problem with services being offered to the LGBTQ community. None.)

Sexual assault and incest are violent and ugly. They steal dignity. It can flat out destroy a person. I saw the consequences every day I worked there. It was an honor to be an advocate for those whose world had just been turned upside down. Or those who had pushed aside events from their past and finally had summoned the courage to speak out.

On that note...

The way the definition of sexual assault has evolved makes me absolutely sick. And it minimizes what, I feel, is true rape or incest. How in the world can you compare the brutality and violence of rape with someone who may have had their butt grabbed by some guy? Or some person at work who tells a dirty/inappropriate jokes? Or someone who stared at your chest? How is that the same? Someone please educate me. I know those things are wrong, wrong, wrong. No denying that. And I truly believe they need to be called out on their behavior.

I've had my butt grabbed.

I've had my chest oogled over.

I've heard plenty of dirty jokes. I've probably told a few. (I totally have.)

I'm not triggered. I don't feel the need to shout out, "Me, too!"

I'm angry. I'm angry for the fourteen year old I worked with who was violently raped by an acquaintance. I'm angry for the gay service member who was suicidal over memories that haunted him over years of childhood incest. I'm mad, y'all. Mad.

I'm angry with the Hollywood hypocrites who had no issue, FOR YEARS, in accepting roles from the perv who "assaulted" them. Whatever to get or keep the job. Right? I'm upset with him for abusing his power. See the theme here? Power and control. It's not about sex. I'm mad at the sudden onset of outrage from the political elite. I'm angry at any woman who is using this "Me, too" thing to garner attention.

Look, if someone grabbed your butt in the bar or in the office, you weren't sexually assaulted. Not in my opinion. Were you the victim of some very inappropriate behavior? Uh, yes. Of course. But stop saying "Me, too." Because I can assure you, it pales in comparison to so many of the actual victims I worked with.

You do not have to agree with me. And if you can present a credible argument against my words, please reach out to me. Maybe I need educating. I don't know. But right now, I've had enough.

What's sad is there are some legitimate "Me, too's" out there... And they need help. Legitimate help. They need advocates. They need a safe place to talk.  I'm safe, y'all. If you need to talk, you know how to find me. If you're local, I'll meet you for coffee. I'll take a phone call. I'll offer a shoulder to cry on. I'll try to help point you in the right direction and help you get counseling. If you need to speak out and are afraid to, track me down. I don't play with this topic. Not. At. All.

Victims, I've got you.

And with that, I'll climb off of my soapbox.