Public wedgies

I hate it when my underwear takes a road trip to my crack.  In public.  There's no easy way to dig it out and go unnoticed.  It takes super human abilities to do this discreetly.  You can do the lunge walk thingy - - but that usually causes the other side to slide on up into never-never land.  And let's be honest.  Who are we fooling?  We all know that you have a wedge.  Can we just all agree that quick, somewhat discreet wedgie removal is okay?

Alright.  It's not possible.

But I'll tell you this.  I'm not a thong girl.  If my underwear creeps into my crack - - I'm digging it out.  I don't care if I end up on people of Wal-Mart.  Just expect it.  I'll *try* to be discreet.  But if it's crawling - - I'm fixing.

We good?

College Football

I don't think I'll ever fully understand some of this rivalry.  Frankly, I find that it brings out the worst in most people.  I understand rivalry.  Just not obnoxious rivalry.

Take OU/UT.  Give. Me. A. Break.  It annoys me.  Obnoxious fans of any sport annoy me.

What the heck does "boomer" mean anyway?  Boomer Sooner?  Uh, okay.

I can be a pretty obnoxious person.  I just find this level of sports obnoxious-ness quite stupid.  I might have to stay off of Facebook until the game is well over.  I'm so ready for the "Red River Shootout" to be done with already.

Blah, blah, blah...

My Morning.

It is 52 degrees outside.  I'm about to go pour my second cup of coffee and read a little before I get to work on the laundry.  I love these cool fronts.  I'll have to cave later today.  It will be 86.  I'm going to have to close the windows and turn the a/c back on.  It will be nice for the morning though.

Hmmmmmm.  I wonder which movie I ought to watch while I fold clothes today.

Time to go - - my cup is empty.  We can't have that.

Randomness

It's been nice enough to leave the windows open all day.  Right now, it's ideal.  The only problem is noise.  And an abundance of it.  Our neighbors have THE loudest air conditioner.  Ever.  Mr. B has casually mentioned this to them on several occasions.  They said they've had it looked at and it's fine.

It's loud and it drives me crazy.  I'm trying to save money over here by leaving my windows open.

I wonder if they ever open their windows.  I don't think they do.  I wish they would.

Semi-okay day today.  If you discount the cat pee.  One of our females sprayed in Justin's room.  I've spent most of the day with the steam cleaner.  Good times.

Oh - - and Cameron got yellow today.  Apparently he and his little "girlfriend" were having issues talking.  Turd.  I officially declare their "relationship" over.  I am breaking things off for him.  So there.

My desk is messy.  I should clean it.

I'm thirsty.  I'm thinking pink lemonade mixed with diet 7-up.  Mmmmm. Refreshing.  Maybe even a  splash of something else to give it some zing.  *grin*

Justin won't stay in his bed.  He's really testing my patience.

I have another entry I'm going to do later about Mr. B's gas.  Have mercy.  I barely survived yesterday.  I nearly left and got a hotel.  I'll give you the lowdown another time.

That is all.  I gotta go shave my legs.  *wink, wink*  (Did I just over share?  Sorry.  It's just that the neighbor's a/c is really loud.)

Who was that?

Did any of you read that post below?  That's what happens when you panic and let the frustration of life get the better of you.

Don't get me wrong.  The Bray household is in dire need of some changes.  And I plan on implementing them.

I just didn't want everyone to think that I've absolutely lost my mind.  I promise I'm okay.

I'm going to go DVR Survivor, watch later when I can skip over the commercials and just CHILL OUT.

I'm pretty sure I have my idea for my next article now.  I'm going to outline it and write it tomorrow.  B is about to hop on her soapbox!

Love you all!  Thanks.

Pissed Off Post

FYI - I am in a very bad mood.  I'm doing this for me.  I have to get this out of my system.  Don't say you weren't warned.

I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE AS A PARENT AND I QUESTION EVERY DECISION I'VE EVER MADE.

I understand that we can't all have G/T kids.  Frankly, the whole G/T thing pisses me off anyway.  Parents love to flaunt the term and I'm sick of it.  Guess what?  My kids aren't G/T.  My kids don't seem to give a shit about school and I'm frustrated.

I. Blame. Myself.

Major changes are ahead for the B household.  MAJOR.

J - you don't want to do your homework?  Tough stuff.  Suck it up buttercup.  You don't like reading?  That's too bad.  It's a HUGE part of the next twelve years for you.  And, hopefully, at least four more after that.  How is it that he can't remember ANYTHING from last year?  Words like, "at," "in," etc..  Why?  Why doesn't he care?  I can tell you.  It's those damn video games.  That's right.  I said it.  We are paying for not staying on top of it.  Buh-bye XBox.  Buh-bye Wii.  I grew up without that crap and they can, too.  We are cracking the whip around here.  Big time.

Reading is a gift.  The places it can take you in your mind and the things you can learn...  It's so important.  Just try.  Sound it out.  Try.  If you're confused, ask for help.  But at least try.  Don't even say, "I can't" before you open the book.

C - tired?  FREAKING GO TO BED WHEN WE TELL YOU TO!  I couldn't stop him from falling asleep this afternoon.  He's exhausted.  And stop arguing with me.  Your fire drill at school was not at 5:00 today.  You weren't there then.  He had the nerve to call *me* a liar when I corrected him.  Huh?  Trust me.  You did not have your fire drill at 5:00.  Nice try, Mr. Five Year Old Know It All.

Bedtime.  Oh my gosh. Bedtime pisses me off.  Even if you think you've got all your bases covered, it's not enough.  We shower, we brush our teeth, we get one last drink of water, we go to the bathroom, we give hugs.  And without fail - - someone gets back up.  Someone can't shut down.  It's non-stop and I'm sick of it.  Go to bed when I tell you to and you won't be so freaking tired and whiny.  Get it?

Talking back?  When did this get so out of control?  I didn't get away with this crap as a kid.  Why do I let mine get away with it?  These boys are going to learn some freakin' respect even if it kills them.  I WILL NOT RAISE DISRESPECTFUL CHILDREN.  Watch your mouth.  Don't smart off.  Don't raise your voice at me.  Don't argue.  Treat each other with respect.  Treat other people with respect.  Definitely respect grown ups.  Always say "ma'am, sir, please, thank you," etc.

"That's not fair."  Damn right it's not.  Stop saying it.  What's not fair is that I have to hear that phrase no less than eleventy billion times every day.  And considering I'm only with them for a few waking hours every day, this is a lot.

Don't like what's for dinner?  Again - - tough.  At least you have food.  And I know it's good food.  I'm D.O.N.E. making an alternate meal for either kid.  Done.  You will not live on Mac 'n Cheese alone while you live in my house.  Get it?

I'm sure there's more.  Somehow I feel like I've said plenty already.

Please don't report me to CPS.  I do not wish harm on my children.  What I do wish is for them to learn to become responsible, successful human beings.  I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to equip them.  And I feel like I am failing miserably.

Please know that I'm not looking for validation here.  I'm not looking for "oh poor you" or "you are a good parent."  I just needed to get this stuff off of my chest.

If you're still with me - - do you think I've lost my mind?

Still Here

I believe they call all of this nonsense "Life."  And it's been crazy.

If things truly come in "threes" then I should be all caught up and ready to perk up.

First I lose Shannon.  Major suckage.  That's gonna take a while to get over.  But each day is a little better.  Don't get me wrong.  I miss her like CRAZY!  I also know that she would want me to move on with my life.  So - - I'm doing that.  One day at a time.

Then Justin broke his wrist.  He's been casted, no surgery.  It is his right hand and he is right-handed.  He's adapting to writing.  But you know what he doesn't do well with his left hand?  Wipe.  I know, gross.  Sorry.  So guess who's back in the hiney-wiping business?  That would be me.  Fun!  (written once again in my non-existent sarcasm font)  He's not hurting that much anymore, so I think we are good to go.  Just a total pain not getting it wet.  Did I mention I'm having to bathe him, too?

To top it all off, I went to bed Monday night feeling like total dookie.  I'd been hurting in my lower back and then I was terribly nauseated.  For me - classic onset of a kidney stone moving.  Terrific!  (again with the font)  I was in incredible pain ALL day yesterday.  It's getting so much better.  Still hurting in my back, but not nearly as bad.  I don't know if I passed that little sucker or not.  My last sonogram said that the one left in my kidney was a very small one.  I hope it's gone.

And here we are today.  First day of fall.  I wake up to a gentle rain.  Woo hoo!  The only thing that would make today more perfect is if I didn't have to get out in it.  But alas, a school thingy beckons.

Time to hit the shower.

I love you, Sheldon.

I'm sorry kids...

...but I've watched Hoarder's.  Closet/toy culling is a necessary part of my life.  I'm guessing you will each notice that your closets are clean.  I don't think you are going to miss a thing.

I still say that kid's meal toys are the bane of my existence.  I wish they'd just knock a quarter off the price and call it good.  We don't need that crap.  I have a trash can full to prove it.

Very Weird

I had to pick Justin up early from school.  The day had already been a little much for him.  To add insult to injury (pun intended) I drug him to Wal-Mart with me.  We are taking dinner to some friends tonight and we were just downright low on some of our basics.  For the record, I HATE taking any kid with me to Wallyworld.  It had to be done, so we went.

When I parked, this is what I saw:

Uh, yeah.  I can't help but wonder what happened here.

I'm a chick and I know NOT to drive on a tire like that.  You don't drive on a flat.  Period.  My dad DRILLED that into my teenage brain when I first started driving.  This is a huge no-no.

Okay.  A purse.  With a visible wallet.  Huh?  Lots of stuff in the back of this truck.  The purse was there when I went in and there when I returned.  People steal purses in this store from shopping carts.  This one was certainly not being guarded.  

This is Justin on our way home.  He managed something of a smile for me.  I think he was just happy that we were leaving and that I snagged a *gasp* Lunchable for him.

So - - will the truck above be on some sort of unsolved mysteries show someday?

It was just - - weird.

I'm telling you.  This had to involve either a kidnapping or someone that was more than high or drunk.  I can't wrap my mind around this one.

Dear Hot Flashes

Dear Hot Flashes,

You suck.

I am not in the mood for you today.  Please leave.

Bite me,
B