The Score

Thing One: 2
Telemarketers: 0

This one was hilarious. Now we might get a welfare check from CPS tomorrow because he told the nice lady that he was three and he was home alone. I can't believe she couldn't hear Husband and I laughing in the background.

Bwahahaha!!!!

Misunderstood love...

Husband was dove hunting this weekend. It was good for him to get out. He rarely does things for him. So I encouraged him to do it and he had a very nice time. Yay, Husband.

So - - that left me with the kids. No biggie. I'm with them all the time. I can handle them. And they weren't really bad either. Thing Two wasn't feeling too well, so it was kind of hard getting him to go to bed. But other than that - - nothing major. We played. A lot. After they went to bed, I decided that I needed to find a home for my eight (yes, I said eight) twelve packs of DCS that were stacked up in the hall. One needed to be put in the fridge. ASAP. The others, I don't know, just some place else - - preferably out of the way. But safe from those that can't be trusted by it's allure. (Not just anyone can drink these you know.)

That's when it hit me. I could do my own photo shoot with my Diet Coke w/Splenda. I built a pyramid with them on my bar. Then I popped the top on one and poured it into a glass of ice. I completely dorked out. I am going to make the best scrapbook page ever. I'd love to get it published. We'll see. Hmmmmm......

Here are a few shots of my photo session.

Should you dare to look? No laughing. Serious inquiries only.

Oh yikes!

Read that definition! I am one SUV away from being a soccer mom.

*hyperventilating*

I need a brown paper bag. Stat.

Clarification

Soccer Mom = broad demographic group of women

I am not opposed to soccer. Yet.

Declaring war.

....on the soccer moms with SUVs at the kid's school. In the parking lot. Argggghhhhh! They blocked me in my spot. I needed the freakin' jaws of life to get in my car. (Psst... Lady in the pony tail, did my non-poker face reveal anything to you when you came and got back in your running vehicle? You are lucky I didn't move it to another spot for you. Or at least straight in to your spot. The two yellow lines are to be parked in between. Not ON TOP OF. I had to wait for you to leave before I could even back out of my spot.) This tight spot would not have made Husband happy. This meant that I parked in the ding-zone. Not anymore. A fellow mom will understand just how much crap you have to haul out to your car after school. Backpacks, lunch boxes, papers that you don't want to get messed up in the backpacks... Not to mention the kids. Then there's the maniac soccer moms driving and backing up in said parking lot. Yikes. So now, I have to come up with a new game plan. One that will keep us and the car safe. I don't mind walking the distance. I do that at the grocery store. At least there I have a cart to haul my stuff. They don't have those at the school. Hmmm... must think.

Soccer Moms - 1
Just B - 0

It's baaaaccccckkkkk!

Three words.


Pumpkin. Spice. Latte.

I was just thinking...

...backpacking through Europe. It sounds all cool, right? Personally I think it sounds like a whole lot of freakin' walking.

Telemarketers Beware

I am not real fond of telemarketers. They call at odd hours and just don't take no for an answer. If you hang up on them, it just puts your number back in their queue for another call. Saturday morning, around 9:30 or so, the phone rang. Obvious telemarketer. Husband answered and nobody was there. So he hung up. I told him he should have let Thing 1 take the call. We laughed and then went about our day's stuff. Husband left to run some errands and thirty minutes later, the same number popped up on caller ID again. I said, "Hey, J, it's for you, just talk." and I hit the speaker button to answer the phone. This is where things got dang funny.

J - Hello
Telemarketer - Hello, my name is Ben with XYZ Marketing Research , we're conducting some research this afternoon...
J - I'm playing a game with my Mommy. It's the Simpson's game. We need to finish Bart and get these gags and defeat the wasp cameras before time runs out.
Telemarketer - Oh, is your mom or your dad there? Can I talk to one of them?
J - My mommy is busy playing this game with me. We have to finish this level before time runs out.
Telemarketer - Oh, well then, perhaps it would be better if I called your parents back at a more convenient time then.
J - ummm, yes, good-bye.
Telemarketer - Okay, uh, good-bye then.


I have found my stealth weapon for handling telemarketers from now on. My toddlers will handle all telemarketing phone calls from now on. It's hilarious. It will be on speaker so that I can monitor the calls. But they are now my front line of defense. I love it! Maybe one will call tomorrow and need to be informed all about the first day of school. Tee hee hee! I could run a business with them. Staff them out to homes without toddlers. This could be quite a gold mine! Time to turn that non-stop talking of theirs into something positive. I think I just might be on to something.

School starts tomorrow. Oh happy day! Let me say that again. Oh happy day!!!!!

I've got a couple of forms to fill out and then I'm off to bed myself.

Later...

Gaining Perspective

Where do I begin? Let me start by saying that lately - things have just sucked. There's really no other way to say it where it would effectively convey how I really feel. So there. I said it. Things have sucked. Before I take you down Suck Avenue (and it's a wretched little trip) I want to tell you that tonight I received a blessing. A blessing that I know was sent straight from God. He put someone in my path that I needed to see and speak to. I'll tell you more about this mystery person later. Just know that this whole story isn't all doom and gloom. It might even bring a smile to some of your faces. We'll see.

Mom is in the Hospital with some serious health problems. Real serious. She is having some tests done and will probably have to go out of town for more tests and possible treatment there. It's going to be tough. I'm the only "kid" around to stay on top of things with the 'rents. Bobby is back on the island now and Audra is in Michigan. I'm flying solo.

I'm real frustrated with the kids. Very frustrated. J is having *ahem* issues with the potty. He's a little, *ahem* backed up. I think. And I think it's frustrating to him as well. We all just have cabin fever. Next summer, things need to be very different. And maybe they will be with both boys potty trained. Notice I said both? That's the plan. Diapers suck. I'm tired of wiping bottoms. I'm thinking underwear and no diapers will free us up a little. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to wish these precious years away. Because I totally recognize that they are, indeed, precious. And they are diappearing so fast. But they are also very hard.

The frustrating part for me is the cabin fever. It's killing me. I ache to get away and long for adult companionship by the end of the day. Yes, this is *so* what I wanted. And still want. I love being home with them. It's finding the common ground with Husband that's been hard. I don't think it's right for me to clock out at 6:00 every night and leave them with him just because I've been "on" all day. But in turn, I need him to understand that while he *did* work, he also had a lunch break. He also talked to other adults. I didn't. (Well, I may have on the phone. But I didn't see any of them.) I wiped bottoms, filled countless juice cups, wiped up spills, fixed breakfast and lunch (and usually not for myself by the way), and tried to keep things picked up. This does not include the cleaning and maintenance of our household. I usually do that stuff after everyone goes to bed. That's the laundry, dishes, etc. Please understand - - I'm not complaining. I just want it to be understood that when I escape the house, it's a big deal to me. A real big deal. Does that make any sense? It's not a vendetta against anyone. No conspiracy theories. It's an escape. It's an attempt for me to be me. I'm not just a mom. I'm also a wife, daughter, sister, friend, scrapbooker, etc. I am a woman. Am I rambling? Yes I am. Next subject.

Jerry. Let's talk about him. That's who I ran in to at the hospital the other night. Jerry. From my youth group many, many moons ago. It was a breath of fresh air to see him. For those of you that don't know, Jerry was a special needs kid that was in our youth group at church. Kids like that are so often shunned. Not Jerry. He fit right in. He was the missing piece to our puzzle. He was just a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I'm not real sure what his official diagnosis is. And it really doesn't matter. It didn't matter then. He was awesome. He was into heavy metal when we all met him. We converted him to Christian rock. And he loved it. I lost touch with Jerry when I left that church back in '96. I'd seen him occasionally around town. Walking around. (He walked everywhere. He can't drive.) When I saw him in the hospital parking lot, he was walking down the street. I rolled my window down and called out to him. He looked over at me and smiled real big. I asked him where he was going and he told me he was going to his apartment. (I couldn't believe he lived by himself.) I offered him a ride and he took me up on it. Jerry will never know how much those three minutes in the car meant to me. I had just visited with my Mom in the hospital. My mom who is very sick. I'd been talking with one of her best friends about it outside of the hospital. In tears. Then along comes Jerry. God put him there. I *know* he did. He was telling me to slow down, to not be so worried about things, and just be. God used Jerry to minister to me. Wow. Thank you Jerry. Thank you.

The bottom line - I have a husband who loves me, two beautiful little boys who I have the pleasure of staying home with instead of sending to daycare, I have parents who would do anything in the world for me, a brother who is doing what he is called to do and a sister who has finally found joy in her life. I have the BEST friends. My life is blessed. Some days just suck. In the grand scheme of things - I am very lucky. God has been good to me. I am doing better than I deserve.

Profile Pic

Like it? Thing 1 took it for me today.

*Sigh*

I have nothing of interest to say right now. I just wanted to give you something to read. You may go about your day now. Check back another time.